Dreams

are scaring me, i much prefer being haunted.

021008
I dreamed again last night,
Paula was making fried cheese burritos
they were so tiny , like the size of two chicklets maybe
and she cooked them in her black rubbered gloved hand
with a torch with a flame that was huge and spewing

and when i reached in to get some they didn’t burn me,
I popped two directly into my mouth and the the temp was perfect
they were lying in rows so perfect in a black tissue-lined burger basket

022808
I was sweating, woke several times from a headache, cried for him over and over, but still i drempt.
it was Cody.
we were talking and laughing and i dunno
it felt like i was with casey,
and the place felt like kyle’s
but the face was cody’s

what does this mean….

031808
there was a spider
it was cornering me
i am standing frozen
i am thinking…
if i scare it away, it escapes into the house and i know i will worry about it indefinitely
if i get it to run toward me i have a cup and can catch it and keep it till it suffocates

i decide i have to get its attention so i slowly lean to the side so that i may be looking at the thing square in the face
i catch the gleam of its at least 4 beady black shining eyes staring directly at me and suddenly i screammmmmm
until i wake up, heart pounding. I wonder if i screamed out loud and woke myself? hmmmm. i don’t like spiders

032608
last night he visited me. it was soft and pillowy and sweaty and full of strong arms and wicked smiles, we were in every place we were ever in and it was sooooo. real. I could feel him, hear his voice, smelled him even, and then i woke up. that’s just like him tho, he’ll come back home just as soon as i stop calling. ah, dearheart…

033108
This is a creepy one… My hair was being dyed, we were in the shower. I wasn’t facing him but i could feel his hands and hear his voice – they belonged to casey.
i kept complaining – it was so rough and felt as though he was ratting my hair – not anything i was accustomed to…
but he kept saying, ‘everything will be fine’ like he always did. Then i was supposed to rinse, but we didn’t have th conditioner.
then i was asking James [my 7 yr old] to get the conditioner packet outta the cheese drawer in the fridge – this scence was just audio, i dont recall any visual images.
then i was turning around to face him and it was a skinny-white boys body w/long wet, black hairs sticking to him and him freaking out about it and me annoyingly telling him to just rinse it off in the shower – i could only see him from his neck to his waist – he most closely resembled my ex – shane.
then i was attempting to comb conditioner thru my wet hair with one of those plastic pick combs – this one happened to be my mothers from when i was young – i was the only one in the shower at this point.
the whole dream was very deep, rich, yellowy in color. I woke soon after.

04/26/08
dreams of cody, it was playful, loud, close-ups, bellowing laughs, glint of hand cuffs, khaki-colored carpet, i cannot give you details as i did not post right after, but what does it matter anyway, her name is Elizabeth

~ by lostwidow on 2008/02/10.