The quiet

Monday Jan 11th.

My phone is so quiet.

I keep thinking of things during the day to say to you.

The JFT says help for life begins only when i admit complete defeat… (just stop fighting, girl)

You always say just stop, slow down, relax, focus on yourself.

Also i wonder why i… intellectually feel like u were the best relationship yet emotionally i feel no remorse or longing today.

I fell asleep in a free shelter 2 nights ago and drifted off seeing your hands coming around my waist and sliding up over my hands. I drifted off feeling warm n cozy.

Tuesday

My mom jus txt me

then mistakenly called me for the 2nd time in 12 hrs.

I wish I had you to snuggle up to now that I’m so mad n can’t sleep.

This is my first time feeling loss of not having you… its been exactly 48 hrs, will this be harder than i think?

Last night u told me goodnight,
this nt u didn’t… i wonder if that means something.

Back to bed and digging thru a duffle bag in 4 hrs for work, gotta keep this new teaching job… Goodnight again.

~ by lostwidow on 2014/01/17.