JFT Can’t Let Go
It’s happened again
I heard about you through a mutual friend
Now my mind is awake
Away from your life i feel i cannot decend
They say you’re doing well
A place of your own away from the city
Thee might be a girl
I wonder how pretty
She is and if she’ll last
Dare I ask to be your roommate
For living quarters on my own do not last
The place i had was full of bugs
Now i live w an old lover paying his rent
Cleaning his rugs
Nothing hqs happened betwen us two
“And you just stay focused, don’t worry about that”
He assured me, as if he knew about us too
Can i say us? my mind is so confused and harried
I admitted to Nate, I still think about maybe someday
If he stays clean, it could of been different, I mean we could of… “married?”
He fills in the blank and I wonder
What else have you addmited to him since the day he complimented your honker?
But then I think of the time you pissed on my face, punched in my head and wrapped the cord around with your knife blade laying aside my neck,
A tradgety of memories for every year we were togeter
And I try to remind myself of how us always got progessively worse, never better…
If we has already said our vows in front of God, then would we be in couseling, mending what man could heal,
Verses trying to figure it out on my own by “doing the deal?”
And why does your life come together so much quicker than mine?
Are you still faking it while I’m walking the line?
“He alway speaks of how great you are, he’s probably just lonely”
Will a year be enough time? will I even still love you, still wonder, “if only?”
Well it’s almost time for me to go to work now, maybe that will be changing soon too,
Perhaps my mind will calm down, I’ll fall asleep tonight without the conflict of all the sides of you.
Still, I want you to know, however desperately crazy it seems-
(As much as I felt we hurt each other)
my life still feels like its being slowly torn apart at the seams
For now
And until then
5
4
16
@7
Perhaps we’ll meet again
Till then your voice saying “I own you” still knocks around inside this wall of skin…
Lost Widow Words © 